You have no idea how badly I wanted to wrap that vehicle around a telephone poll.. are you really that thick headed that you can't read the signs? It was suppose to be a nice shopping trip, but you decided to let me drive to a place I have no clue how to get and your horrible with directions.. and me cutting across three lanes of traffic when you already put me in a bad mood was not in my plans for today.. but hey, it wasn't.. not after I had a breakdown after our first stop and after me crying for 15 minutes you left, came back in five and screamed at me to get out of the car... and then you abandoned me in the parking lot... lovely.... At least I had my cellphone.. unfortunately I was still crying when I called Mel to come get me when she was done with her errands. So I was crying for another forty minutes before she got to me.. but at least she wouldn't abandon me like that...

Then I send you this... "I bet you don't even know why I was crying... or even care for that matter... I don't know what i want to do.. Being classically trained in oil painting has nothing to do with what I want to do. But the school I want to go to is out of my price range. the only class I want to take is Japanese... But I have to take other things to keep my insurance... It all just seems like a waste of time and money to me but I'm stuck at HVCC because that's all you'll pay for... I'm tired of feeling alone and useless but I can't get a job until I can drive so I feel like I'm stuck doing things I don't want to do because you are forcing me to... I feel like I don't have any options..." Come to find out you completely ignored your phone.. but I'm not going to talk to you without you biting my head off.

I really don't want to keep on waiting... I just want to get out... leave all this behind because I can't take you grating on my nerves anymore.. I technically have the money to.. but where I want to go required paperwork I don't have yet.. so I'm stuck, doing what I can to try and please you.. but there's no pleasing you... You haven't been happy with me since I was little... You always make me feel like I'm such a disappointment to you...

I hadn't cried in over a year... I didn't want to make him worry about me anymore.. I wanted to prove to myself that I didn't need to be so emotional about stupid things, but I think you enjoy seeing me hurt too much to let me go pain free... It's nice to know you care so much Mom....